Last Dance

Jun. 14th, 2008 11:28 am
leshovik: (Default)
[personal profile] leshovik
I tell myself it's for the best, and I believe it, too.

That's what Alexei would say.

But at the same time, I doubt, the way a pious man lies awake in bed at night, the way a fighter pilot's hand clenches on the yoke.

Only I'm not a pious man, or a pilot, but I am a sniper.

And sometimes snipers have their moments of doubt, quiet seconds with sweaty palms and blurred vision and trigger fingers frozen in place.

I think about Aryol, and I wonder if he'll be all right. I have to trust that he will. I owe him that much. It's the least I can do, to treat him like a man who's capable of making his own decisions.

After all, if someone had told me, way back when, not to get involved with Kasya, would I have listened? Even if they told me he'd break me apart, I still would have done it anyway.

When you're young, you're invincible.

...at least, until you break.

Only I don't think Aryol is going to break. If he was, it would have happened long ago. He's been through some pretty tough shit for a kid, and somehow I get the feeling I don't know the half of it. I never really wanted to hear it.

That's Aryol, carved from pure, hard granite, just like his -

...

I mean, if Aryol is anything like Irinarhov, it's only because of my expectations. I made him my Kasya, one I could control, I shaped him to grow to my liking. I'm the common denominator in the equation.

Still, Aryol is Aryol.

Kirill.

Shit.

...

It's for the best.

...Liadov had better treat him right.
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

November 2009

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 25th, 2017 11:31 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios